A mish mash of thoughts on your day

Dear Olivia, Today you were bright and cheerful. You got to ride to preschool in "Papa's truck" and I picked you up a little early, so we could go to Castle Park in Kayesville with Amanda, Venner and, Bjork plus their friends for a playdate. The park was busy, families itching to be out in the warm weather. We found our friends, and Bjork was not being friendly. This happens quite often, and before I used to not be bothered by it. Today it bothered me because today was the first time she actually hit you and scratched you. Bjork, at four-years old is moody with you. You just want to play, in all your innocence. But she slights you, treats you poorly, and dismisses you. Before I would explain that she takes awhile to warm up because that is what I thought it was. I have tried to help you understand that if she is acting this way to give her time. And you have, you go and play with something else until she is ready. But I can see that you don't understand her behavior. I try hard to not allow my feelings be the judgement of your friendship. It is especially difficult because Amanda and I are such good friends. But to see you time and time again be mistreated kind of took a turn for me today. Don't get me wrong, it's not all the time, but why should a four-year old have to deal with that? I am not sure I want you to. Yes, this is good practice because there will be girls and boys who will be unkind. I will not be able to protect you and you will learn how to handle stressful situations because I know you are very capable. Bjork is bullying you and I am trying to teach you how to lovingly yet firmly stick up for yourself. I explain to you, "That you don't like it, and to stop hitting you. You do address it saying you are mad at Bjork and you explain why. I am grateful that you acknowledge the difference. But I also worry that you are a little too passive. You, my dear, are one of the sweetest, kindest, loving, compassionate people I know. I hope that even though people may be unkind, or whatever the situation may be that you will keep on being the Olivia I know because that Olivia is truly amazing. You are amazing in so many ways. I am sorry, I will start to figure out what to do with this situation. Maybe we need to take a break from Bjork for a little bit and sort things out. The first thing I did do though is made a playdate with a girl that absolutely adores you, Annie Woodward. I want you to know what healthy friendships are like. Other experiences today, you were really helpful with the laundry today. You taught your mom a lesson by swiping my phone down when you were trying to have some time with me. I was distracted by this Bjork stuff and you just wanted me to be in the moment. Thank you for reminding me what is most important, and that is YOU. You told your papa that this was "The best day ever!" and you rode your bike all evening. You would pedal really fast and then slam on your brakes. You made a concoction with honey, rice cereal, salt, and water. You tried it. You noticed it needed more honey. That made me smile. You also spilled the entire concoction on the floor and yourself (and guess what? I didn't get mad)! You played with Fey, worried about your brother's toe when he got an owie. You chose the dinner spaghetti and meatballs. I made homemade sauce and meatballs. You loved the sauce and noodles, but not the meatballs. (And they took a long time to make)! You tried to comfort Maddox when he was throwing a tantrum. Your concern for people is truly impressive. You were picking up coins off of the floor and you told me you had an idea. You said that you wanted to get money and food to people that do not have any. We had a conversation about fast offerings. Oh, how grown up you are. Oh, I love you, so. Love, Your mama

Your smile

Dear Olivia, Your smile is incredible. That smile is very infectious, and never lose it. Love, Your mama

New beginnings -- Soccer

Dear Olivia, Two weekends ago you had your very first soccer practice and game. You are on a team with four other preschool friends: Emi, James, Carson, and Will. You were excited, warming up, kicking the ball, and running to get the ball. Part of the team was apprehensive, so you were playing for most of the game. In the second half, you scored the first goal for your team. You high fived and had big smiles. Aside from the fact that the ''green'' team was pretty much scoring at every kick, you were having fun until..... I think you were tired, and thirsty because you had played for a half hour straight due to the fact that four of your teammates would not play. This little boy on the opposing team had said to you, "I am going to take you down to the ground!" And that did it. I saw you crying on the field (I did not know at the time what had happened), and I motioned for you to come to me. When you did you explained what the boy had said to you. My sensitive soul. You were the one giving thumbs up to the kids on the opposing team when they scored a goal. You were the one all smiles, rushing towards the ball, and kicking for a score, and now you were simply crying, sad, and done. \ We explained that sometimes kids say things and that it is part of the game. You were having none of it. We tried to explain that it doesn't matter what anyone says, but you still were not going out on to the field. The only thing you said about it when we got home was that you never wanted to play the green team again. They were too fast. Luckily, you will not have to play them again. We tried again the following week. You exercised with your team. You kicked the ball, and when it was game time, you went on the field, but you would not chase, kick, defend. You smiled and stood, and moved a bit. After ten minutes you wanted out and did not go in for awhile. I had to go to a baby shower. Papa persuaded you on the field, and you held hands with Emi and ran. No kicking, defending, just running hand in hand. Oh, well. Maybe by the seventh and last game you will like it...or not. Maybe dance is just what you need. Maybe ice skating? We will try again. My hope is that the things that people say won't have so strong of an effect on you that it stops you from doing what you care about most. I am not saying that this is what is happening, but always remember who you are, no matter what is said. You stand for you, get up, and rise to the top with love, compassion, and kindliness. With love, Your mama